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Anonymous asked:

i saw that you helped someone replace an ansel elgort fc and i was wondering if you could please offer some suggestions for an amber heard replacement?? someone sort of messy and dangerous, if that makes sense. blondes would also be appreciated, but whatever you can come up with!! thank you much for your time!!

Some more alts not mentioned on any of the above posts!

-C

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An AU where Bitty didn’t go to Samwell and instead started working at a bakery in Providence. The bakery is around the same neighbourhood where Tater lives.

Tater starts frequenting the place and soon enough, you guessed it. Bitty and Tater become friends.

The best of friends. The ride or die friends. The I’d hide a body with you friend. But also the how many skittles can you fit in your mouth? Friend.

Tater starts a lot of his stories with ‘B and I…’ 'Took B to’ 'B is’ etc and everybody starts assuming that B is Tater’s girlfriend, until he brings him for a game.

Everybody sort of goes 'oooooh’ and assumes this is Tater coming out and bringing his boyfriend to meet them. And if you think about it, it sort of explains Tater calling him B.

Then Tater comes super excited one day. 'B will move with me!’ And they all congratulate him and everything, thinking it’s so nice that Tater and Bitty’s relationship is going well, while actually Tater has been nagging Bitty to move in so he can have access to pie 24/7.

But also because Bitty is his best friend and since he bought his apartment he has been feeling a little lonely, this is the reason that does convince Bitty to move in because he has been feeling a little lonely too.

Fast forward a year, Jack graduates and joins the team. By this point Bitty is a regular at the games, he is a very in demand babysitter and makes a lot of food for the players.

Before he starts, Guy and Marty take the time to feel him out and explain that Tater has a boyfriend, and that they will have nothing but acceptance in their locker room.

They do this after asking Tater if it was ok to tell Jack about Bitty.

'No problem!’ Tater replies happily 'But B so good he need no introduction.’

Jack is pleased by this of course, and happy he is in a welcoming team.

Then Jack meets Bitty.

And to make it better, let’s say he meets him when he is carrying a bunch of stuff for the nook.

'You should eat more protein,’ Jack jokes after seeing all the pies, and offers a hand to carry things.

Bitty jokes/flirts back. They are having a moment, Jack feels butterflies in his stomach and well, if the team is ok with Tater, surely they’d be ok with him…

'B! You made it!’ Tater bellows from down the hallways and rushes over, picking Bitty and putting him in a bear hug. 'I miss you.’

'Tater!’ Bitty yells laughing, and kisses his cheek playfully, 'you saw me this morning.’

'Yeah but you sleepy, you grumpy when sleepy. Like tiny bear.’

And then Bitty and Tater start to bicker like an old married couple. This whole time Tater is holding Bitty up.

Jack stomach drops to his feet, because of course Bitty is taken. By his teammate.

Jack develops a crush, a massive problematic crush because holy fuck Tater is the nicest person ever, and he would never want to get in between him and his boyfriend, but also he is terrified of Tater finding out because he once took two defence man by himself and won.

Meanwhile, at Bitty and Tater’s home, Bitty flings himself dramatically over the counter.

'Tater! I’m in love. Jack is so cute and nice, I like him so much.’

'Jack nice guy, he good guy for you. I approve,’ Tater says solemnly with a mouth full of pie.

'Say it don’t spray it,’ Bitty asks for the millionth time. 'Do you know if he likes guys?’

And then Tater being the good friend he is, tries to feel Jack out and play matchmaker, while an increasingly alarmed Jack thinks Tater is warning him off about crushing on Bitty.

Which isn’t helped by the fact Bitty keeps popping up to chirp him, which kind of feels like flirting but surely not…

Things get clarified and everything, Jack and Bitty start dating, and Tater has to explain 8 times to everybody that no, he never dated Bitty.

'We kissed once. We agree weird. We best as best friends,’ Tater says once again.

'Yeah but if he was going to date somebody other than you why couldn’t it be me?’ Poots complains loudly.

'You no good enough for B,’ Tater chirps back. 'I only let B date good teammate who didn’t eat my pie.’

'Will you let that go man!? I didn’t know it was yours.’

'It had sticky paper with Tater on it! You don’t fool me Poot, you food thief!’

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The Ramblies #4

Random Phrases I have uttered.

  • Anus Williams
  • Problematic Mushroom
  • Not a mush, not amush, THE MUSH
  • My shame has confined me to the floor
  • Communication is not my strong poot
  • I will find a house of sheep carcasses and make you live in it
  • I forgive you even though you have no money
  • *accidentally caused a metal carousel to squeak* The screams of the damned
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Anonymous asked:

More like back when Miley wasn't a problematic mess.

that too! her basic ass is cancelled! it’s funny demetria poot lovato is now the supreme of the disney 3 😪

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Anonymous asked:

hello batel! i was hoping you could help me with a fc question. i'm looking for some alternative faceclaims to daisy ridley? she hasn't done anything problematic, i just need someone who fits her same age range and general sweet, sunflowery demeanor for a character i want to play in a group where she's all ready taken. thank you very much!

again, it took me two months to answer, i’m sorry doll but hopefully this could still help someone. please note that once more daisy ridely is white but my alternative fc’s include diverse options;
  • jane levy - born in 1989, white.
  • imogen poots - born in 1989, white.
  • laura harrier - born in 1990, african american & white.
  • greta onieogou - born in 1991, russian-nigerian
  • eleanor tomlinson - born in 1992, white.
  • jade thirlwall - born in 1992, yemen & white.
  • perrie edwards - born in 1993, white.
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Hey guys! I know I am coming in at the peak of finals, so take your time to message and reply to me :) I’m Britt, and I took this semester of college off because I suck and keep changing my major, lmao. I live in the heart of Illinois, and would much rather live in California or New York. Now, enough of me. I’ve been playing Marlene for quite a while now, so I’ll have some headcanons under the read more.

▲ — IMOGEN POOTS; MARLENE MCKINNON is a PUREBLOOD in their SEVENTH year, making them SEVENTEEN. for being a GRYFFINDOR they’re pretty OUTGOING & PLAYFUL, while also being MANIPULATIVE & REBELLIOUS. ( cisfemale & she/her ) // britt, 20, cst, she/her.

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why did so many people jump straight up Poots’ ass after the last update even though the boy is clearly at least mildly homophobic?????? if he was a non-white side character would this have happened??? anyone will jump down other characters’ throats for being problematic *cough*nursey*cough* but this dude shows up for ten seconds being homophobic and eating a sandwich and everyone’s in love

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High Frame Review: Frank And Lola

Oozing a film noir lust and layered with mystery and intrigue, it is hard to tell whether Frank & Lola is a wonderful film from a new time writer/director Matthew Ross or a case of style over substance where mood lighting, music and twists galore distract from a stock standard 90 minutes of film. Frank & Lola is a love story told by a man obviously broken before. It is film that hinges on the story so the less details the better, suffice to say it revolves around the titular characters, perfect performances from Michael Shannon and Imogen Poots, as their relationship is challenged by infidelity and emotional baggage. The film is set against the darkest Las Vegas put to film in years, this is Las Vegas away from the casino’s, this is how the rest of the town lives. Las Vegas feels like a symbol for the rest of the film. There is no glitz as in a romantic comedy, there is no sweeping statements of intent, it is secretive and immediate and visceral. The tension builds throughout and you are left thinking ahead to the next turn as each character vies for the upper hand. In the end, you are made too aware of the screenwriters flourishes to really be fully engaged in the story. The casting of Michael Shannon and Imogen Poots is a master stroke. Their difference in age could have easily been problematic in a society hyper aware of Hollywood’s constant dismissal of aging actresses. Those fears are easily laid to rest when you realise the age gap is essential to the relationship imbalance and the way the couple play with each other. Shannon’s stoney face plays perfectly against the tableau of emotion Poots presents on hers. Anytime Shannon does allow emotion to break through, you as the audience feel it that much more from an actor cast perfectly and on top of his game. Frank & Lola is a bold opening salvo from Ross and will be a film that sticks with me for a few weeks before fading into the indie film vacuum of my mind. The noir style and bold storytelling strokes work for and against it but the film stays afloat on the back of the performances of its leads. I would suggest this as being a good film for any noir completest or those who like a good sexually charged romance thriller.  

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Hate It Or Love It? Megan Thee Stallion Replaces Problematic Poot-Butt Kodak Black On Bhad Bhabies “Bestie”

Source: Brian Stukes/Cooper Neill/Getty / Getty

Megan Thee Stallion Links With Bhad Bhadie’s On “Bestie”

If you thought Bhad Bhabie was just gonna disappear into the internet’s troll-laden abyss then the joke is on you.
Somehow, Dr. Phil’s most viral brat has made her way into the rap game and she must be paying these credible artists a pretty penny to appear on her “songs”.
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