Why 'American Sniper' Chris Kyle’s Widow Taya Hasn't Dated Since His 2013 Death: 'I Wasn't Willing to Let Him Go' (Exclusive)

Taya Kyle lost her husband, Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, 11 years ago, and hasn't remarried or dated since then.

She still feels loyal to her late husband, the larger-than-life hero portrayed in the 2014 Clint Eastwood-directed blockbuster, American Sniper, starring Bradley Cooper as Chris, based on his 2012 New York Times bestselling autobiography.

“There’s a line in Ed Sheeran’s song, 'Tenerife Sea,' that says, ‘Should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it’s enough for me,’” Taya, 49, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue.

“I think there was a big loyalty part of me that wanted to let him know that he was enough for me,” she says.

On Feb. 2, 2013, the decorated sniper, 38, and his friend, Chad Littlefield, 35, were shot and killed on a Texas gun range by a former Marine they were trying to help. The shooter was sentenced to life in prison in 2015 without parole.

When Chris first died, Taya says, “I was deep in grief. I wanted someone to hold me and tell me it would be okay. I wanted that for a while the way anyone does when they are doing it alone, but no one was Chris and I wasn’t willing to let him go.”

Losing their father was also excruciatingly painful for the couple's children, Colton Kyle and McKenna Kyle, who were just 8 and 6 when he was killed and speak publicly for the first time about their hero dad in this week’s issue of PEOPLE.

Prioritizing the children is another big reason why Taya says she hasn’t dated. “I didn’t see how anyone could build a relationship with kids who needed me,” she says. “I wasn’t willing to take time away from my kids for that.”

Ironically, before Chris died, she told him that if anything ever happened to her, that she would want him “to find somebody to be with him and the kids,” she says. 

For more about Taya, Colton and McKenna Kyle, subscribe now to PEOPLE or pick up this week's issue, on newsstands Friday.

“He didn't say it back,” she says. “I think he was just absorbing what I was saying.”

But, she says, “I believe in heaven things change dramatically, and I actually believe I felt him more than a couple of times nudging me and saying, ‘I've got someone for you,’” she says. “But I very stubbornly felt like, ‘No, you were enough.’” 

She is careful about who she lets into her life. During some of her darkest moments, when she was finding her way as a widow with two small children to care for, “Some people took advantage of that,” she says. 

As a result, she says, “I can trust people but to trust someone so intimately would take courage for me.”

For now, she says, going it alone works for her. “I enjoy my life,” she says. 

She and the kids spend a lot of time together outdoors, discussing their Christian faith, and playing board games.

She’s always there to listen and to give the kids advice in their new endeavors: Colton took over the American Sniper brand, which currently sells apparel bearing the American Sniper logo. A portion of the proceeds go to The Taya and Chris Kyle Foundation, which Taya started in 2014 to strengthen first responder and military marriages.

McKenna volunteers as the social media representative of Tarrant County Sheriff Bill Waybourn. “I show the behind-the-scenes of what law enforcement actually does," she says.

Already a bestselling author, Taya just published her first children’s book, Prayers for Bears: Bailey the Grateful Bear, based on her and the kids’ experiences.

Despite everything, she is open to finding love again one day.

“I believe that people who are courageous enough to love again don’t lose the love they had for their first spouse,” she says. 

“My dad said that love is not a zero-sum game and that we always have more to give. Maybe God has that in store for me some day and I'll explore it.”