Building assertiveness in Engineering Management is tough. Can you think of ways to make it easier?
As an engineering manager, you need to be assertive to lead your team, communicate your vision, and handle conflicts. But being assertive is not always easy, especially if you face resistance, criticism, or self-doubt. How can you build your assertiveness skills and become a more confident and effective leader? Here are some tips to help you out.
Before you can assert yourself, you need to know what you want and why you want it. Having clear and realistic goals and values will help you align your actions with your purpose and priorities. It will also help you communicate your expectations and needs to others, and negotiate for win-win outcomes. To define your goals and values, you can use tools like SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) criteria, SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats) analysis, or personal mission statements.
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I believe that assertiveness is often rooted in experience. To develop this quality and facilitate its growth more smoothly, seeking guidance from a mentor is highly advisable. A mentor can provide the insights and feedback necessary to build confidence in your decisions and interactions, making the journey towards assertiveness more straightforward and effective.
Assertive communication is not just about what you say, but also how you say it. You need to use clear, concise, and respectful language that expresses your thoughts and feelings without blaming, attacking, or avoiding others. You also need to use non-verbal cues like eye contact, posture, and tone of voice that convey confidence and authority. And you need to listen actively and empathetically to others, and acknowledge their perspectives and emotions. To practice your communication skills, you can use techniques like role-playing, feedback, or recording yourself.
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Practicing communication helps you learn different ways to demonstrate assertiveness and gain substantial experience in this field. You should treat everyone according to their mood and capacity. However, in all these cases, if the other party senses honesty in your speech and behavior, your task will become much easier.
One of the most challenging aspects of being assertive is setting boundaries and saying no to unreasonable or unwanted requests or demands. You might feel guilty, afraid, or obligated to comply with others, even if it goes against your goals and values. But saying yes to everything can lead to stress, resentment, and burnout. To set boundaries and say no, you need to be clear about your limits and priorities, and use polite but firm responses that explain your reasons and offer alternatives. You also need to be prepared to deal with negative reactions or consequences, and stand your ground.
Conflicts are inevitable in any engineering project or team, and they can be a source of stress and frustration. But they can also be an opportunity to improve relationships, solve problems, and create value. To handle conflicts constructively, you need to be assertive and cooperative, not aggressive or passive. You need to focus on the issue, not the person, and use facts and logic, not emotions and opinions. You also need to seek mutual understanding and agreement, not domination or submission, and use strategies like brainstorming, compromising, or collaborating.
Your self-confidence is the foundation of your assertiveness. If you believe in yourself and your abilities, you will be more likely to speak up, take action, and face challenges. But if you doubt yourself and your worth, you will be more likely to stay silent, avoid risks, and miss opportunities. To boost your self-confidence, you need to recognize your strengths and achievements, and celebrate your successes. You also need to identify and challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs, and replace them with positive and realistic ones. And you need to take care of your physical and mental health, and seek support when needed.
You don't have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to building your assertiveness skills. You can learn from others who have been in your shoes, and who have overcome similar obstacles and achieved similar goals. You can seek mentors, coaches, or role models who can offer you guidance, feedback, or inspiration. You can also join networks, communities, or groups of like-minded engineering managers who can share their experiences, insights, or resources. And you can read books, articles, or blogs that can teach you new skills, techniques, or perspectives.
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To become more assertive, focus on self-awareness, active listening, clear goals, confidence building, using "I" statements, positive body language, time management, seeking feedback, practicing in safe environments, and having a supportive network. While credit can help in some aspects, these tips cover broader areas of assertiveness development.
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building assertiveness as an Engineering Manager is challenging but achievable with the right strategies. Start by getting clear on your goals and values. Then focus on honing your communication skills, setting boundaries, handling conflicts constructively and boosting your self-confidence. Observe and learn from role models who embody assertive leadership. With time and practice, you can develop an assertive style that feels authentic to you and helps you lead your team more effectively.
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